The grizzly bear climbed into a bottle and never came out again. He wasn't an alcoholic or anything of the sort, he just wanted to climb inside a bottle and never return to the real world. He hated alcohol, which confused everyone given that he purposely climbed into a bottle of wine.
He tried to explain this choice by saying that wine didn't look like beer which looked like piss which he did not want to splash around in. Anything that didn't resemble beer was good, he stressed. Though his hatred wasn't directed at just beer but at alcohol in general.
"Alcohol is what's wrong with this country," he would roar, "and the birds. Especially those falcons! Goddamn winged bastards."
His ornithophobia was one of the "many valid" reasons for climbing into the bottle. His relatives all knew he was full of it but they just wanted him out of the way. So much was their contentment that it never crossed their minds to visit him, or even allow themselves to think of such a thing. Then again, they were business bears. Crappy ones at that. Their neighbors on the other hand, were financial geniuses, and bulls. Unfortunately, they had no interest in playing the stock market.
"And perpetuate a stereotype associated with my species?" they snorted. "No thanks!"
This caused much dismay to their other neighbors: an assortment of foxes, fowls, fish, and various other creatures, except for apes. They were on their own planet. Sort of.
All this and more the bear pondered from time to time from behind tinted glass.
He was oblivious to the effects of his exile.
"Am I hallucinating? Am I drunk? Is this space dementia?" echoed not only inside the confinement of the bottle but within the caverns of his recently cleaned-out mind; he caved after the first few hours and drank himself stupid.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Up
... and forward.
Not a combination on a video game controller, necessarily. For that to be the case, one would have to follow up with fierce punch or A, B, X, Y, Y, A, B, A, A, back, back, fierce kick.
Up and forward simply (nothing can ever be truly "simple", can it?) refers to the only logical and effective directions in which one can and must head in their endeavors and pursuits.
Nothing ever good came from heading backwards or downwards, in a physical sense anyway.
In the more philosophical sense, regression makes little sense given that regression and devolution pisses all over progress and the great strides made forward.
Heading backwards only leads to miserable tears, a mutilation of the self and soul, and spitting in the face of the future which only comes back to hit one in the face with a far more painful sting of goodness knows what.
To avoid falling into a miserable trap of misery, melancholy, self-loathing, and all that stuff one is compelled to move up and forward.
Not a combination on a video game controller, necessarily. For that to be the case, one would have to follow up with fierce punch or A, B, X, Y, Y, A, B, A, A, back, back, fierce kick.
Up and forward simply (nothing can ever be truly "simple", can it?) refers to the only logical and effective directions in which one can and must head in their endeavors and pursuits.
Nothing ever good came from heading backwards or downwards, in a physical sense anyway.
In the more philosophical sense, regression makes little sense given that regression and devolution pisses all over progress and the great strides made forward.
Heading backwards only leads to miserable tears, a mutilation of the self and soul, and spitting in the face of the future which only comes back to hit one in the face with a far more painful sting of goodness knows what.
To avoid falling into a miserable trap of misery, melancholy, self-loathing, and all that stuff one is compelled to move up and forward.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Age
"Age is just a number, baby." Not really. Age has a varying degree of significance with people. Some look at age as an important factor in deciding all sorts of stuff. Others disregard it in favor of experience and knowledge. I probably fall in with the latter school of though. Beyond that, age is a number of different things.
It's another measurement of time and the slow crawl towards the inevitable. It is to be expected, however, "slow" becomes "Damn! Time just flew! What the hell!?" We have reminders of it but its becomes this sort of phantom that just lurks around. Or that weird friend that tends to sneak up behind you to try to scare you. Time is a ghost? Sort of.
And when the fear strikes correctly, you miss deadlines or appointments and all that.
But regarding age. It is some sort of painting on the wall that has weird eyes that follow you everywhere. It's there but nobody really notices it until someone else points it out:
"Wow! You really grew (insert noun/adjective/word here)!"
"How long has it been [since we last spent time]?"
"I haven't seen you in [time]!"
And similar questions irritate because they provide a lazy attempt at concern/attention or whatever you want to call it. Only if there is no follow-up. Other times, it's just insulting to hear what is tantamount to "You're old!" Ah the eternal specter (not to be confused with SPECTRE.) that haunts people (as specters are wont to do).
I don't really mind it anymore even if it's that time of year again.
Have a good one, reader(s?)
It's another measurement of time and the slow crawl towards the inevitable. It is to be expected, however, "slow" becomes "Damn! Time just flew! What the hell!?" We have reminders of it but its becomes this sort of phantom that just lurks around. Or that weird friend that tends to sneak up behind you to try to scare you. Time is a ghost? Sort of.
And when the fear strikes correctly, you miss deadlines or appointments and all that.
But regarding age. It is some sort of painting on the wall that has weird eyes that follow you everywhere. It's there but nobody really notices it until someone else points it out:
"Wow! You really grew (insert noun/adjective/word here)!"
"How long has it been [since we last spent time]?"
"I haven't seen you in [time]!"
And similar questions irritate because they provide a lazy attempt at concern/attention or whatever you want to call it. Only if there is no follow-up. Other times, it's just insulting to hear what is tantamount to "You're old!" Ah the eternal specter (not to be confused with SPECTRE.) that haunts people (as specters are wont to do).
I don't really mind it anymore even if it's that time of year again.
Have a good one, reader(s?)
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