Eau

The concept of fragrances has always been something of an attention grabbing mystery with me. I can appreciate people smelling nice (and hygiene) in general but I never understood the concept of fragrances enough to use one regularly, or even occasionally. I'll stick with deodorant, thanks.

Prior to last week, I hadn't worn cologne or any fragrance in about 3 years and when I did, I only did so for one day. Prior to THAT, I had only worn cologne once in my entire life.

I think the reason I never really gave it much thought was because my sense of smell has always been fucked up. I've only begun to notice this fact in recent years. I think it stopped working at full capacity a few years ago, or I just never really noticed until recently when I had seemingly run out of things to occupy my mind and as such was forced to think of other things.

Really grasping at straws, my mind's eye is.

That being said, I appreciate good hygiene and smelling good. It often makes me feel ashamed when I walk somewhere on an errand and a girl who smells really good walks past. I feel bad because I probably skipped a shower and have absorbed the smell of the city, and sweat. Fun.

"If I can smell her, she can probably smell me."

It's not like I do this on purpose, it just seems to happen frequently that whenever I'm on an errand, I skip a shower because I'm gonna come back home and do nothing for a while anyway. Similar to that, "why clean up when you're only going to get dirty again?" phrase. The only difference is I'm not going to let myself smell like a dumpster.

You ever smell that? It's fucking disgusting! It's one of the few things my sense of smell CAN register. I know it registers because it makes me wince, recoil in disgust, and gag.

With that, I'll probably start wearing cologne more frequently. Once I figure out the unnecessary complexities behind selecting a smell to adopt and present.

Maybe someone will say, "Damn, you smell GOOD!"

Review: The Fragile

The Fragile

Nine Inch Nails

1999

I don't remember when I first heard The Fragile. Nowadays, all I can tell you is that this album never really connected with me the way the first two did even though it follows the same themes as The Downward Spiral and Pretty Hate Machine, or the stuff Trent Reznor writes about in general. Despite that, it didn't reach me on the same level as the two or even Broken (if we're going to start grasping at straws). That being said, it's always difficult to live up to the hype and anticipation and follow up an amazing album four year later. And it must be more difficult to be expected to deliver masterpiece after masterpiece and this is where my review starts.

It must be a daunting task to live up to the expectations set by your previous work which was received so well, with such enthusiasm and acclaim. It sets the bar very high and makes the fall much higher and probably hurt more. That being said every time I listen to The Fragile, it sounds like a chaotic if not sloppy attempt to blend everything that's come before into something new.

I really don't remember what the circumstances were when I first listened to The Fragile. I was probably still in high school finally discovering Nine Inch Nails. Or I might have listened to it after I graduated, I don't know. I do know that the title of the album can work as an indicator of his condition but also the condition of the album.

While I wouldn't call The Fragile my favorite NIN album, or even put in the top 3, I have to admit that in its flaws and shortcomings there is a some art, albeit unintentionally rehashed and watered down.

Because there really isn't much for me to say about this album is probably why this review is so short. There's something missing in the Fragile. Yeah it has some great tunes like Starfuckers Inc, The Day the World Went Away, Into the Void, which carry a lot of anger and traces of that Nine Inch Nails ferocity but there's something missing that keeps it from becoming a good kind of stand-out. It doesn't make any sense either. Everything is there, Trent is still at the top of his game, the themes that he writes about so well are there, the music is good but it still doesn't click. Maybe it's treading on familiar ground in such a way that feels overly disconnected and detached.

It drones on more than it destroys and that's probably why The Fragile feels so fragile.

7/10

Fingers and Accusations and Questions

A lot of the things I do seem to be subject to accusations and allegations. Most of the time, these allegations are bullshit and are really products of someone projecting their insecurities and self-loathing onto me and my actions. I'm not the bad guy here, your unresolved psychological baggage be! Is!

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say this. For example, you ever talk to a girl? And just behave casually around her without any ulterior motives? I know you've spoken innocently to at least a handful.

Why is it that if I even just talk to a girl, it's believed that I want to get in her pants? What if I'm flabbergasted and trying to get somewhere? What if I need to know if I just missed my bus? Surely, these aren't indicators that I want to get it on! Right? Or have I been living underground beneath a desexualized rock and have been living ass-backwards while the surface has become so sensitive and hypersexualized and riddled with so much fear that simply making eye contact has become code for "Let's have intercourse"?!

Yes, that's what we (bad) writers call "hyperbole." But let's be more polite about the examples.

Why is it believed that because I do something good for someone, I'm not just trying to help out but trying to get something else out of it? Is altruism really dead? Or have we become so cynical and insecure that we have to hate something?

Just more unanswered questions that can turn a person into a misanthrope. Or a hermit.

If I was weak enough and had a choice, I'd probably opt to be a hermit. Simply because there'd still be hope for some shred of happiness. And wisdom. Whereas misanthrope implies anger and hatred. Things that to the Dark Side of The Force lead.

So, the next time someone accuses you of trying to get in their pants simply because you asked for the time, raise an eyebrow in disbelief and ignore them. If you're holding onto someone's hand because they're about to fall off a cliff and suddenly get bitchy with you because they think you want their (probably) nonexistent gold, you should still help them up because letting them go and plummet to their death is called murder. Murder is bad. You wouldn't want to deprive someone of life and then get thrown in jail or murdered yourself, would you?

Chomp!

Despite how colorful a diet containing more vegetables probably is, I don't think I could ever go from being an omnivore to a herbivore (or vegetarian or vegan). I should point out that I have no problem with herbivores (or vegetarians or vegans) as long as they aren't arrogant, judgmental assholes about my eating habits.

I say omnivore because to say I'm a a carnivore would imply that my diet consists of meat only. That's not true as I also feed on fruits and vegetables. You know, plants. Surprisingly, in equal proportions rather than horribly skewed in one particular direction.

I could never go for cutting animal or animal products out of my diet (for extended periods of time) because I was raised to eat animal and animal products. It's embedded too deeply in me to make me abandon it, if only for a short while unless there was a very compelling reason. Compelling reasons include health reasons and that's really it. I could and would give it a shot but it's not something I could uphold for long periods of time. It's almost dear to me. If you try to take away my steak and I will hurt you. It's natural for humans to devour the flesh of other animals, we've been doing this since pre-recorded history and even with all the propaganda and self-righteous judgmental behavior against consuming meat, we are showing no signs of slowing down. This is especially true if that bizarre bacon addiction is any proof.

Tangent: I like bacon, I really do but it gets so goddamn annoying when the internet (or any other walk of life) is saturated by it. Can we not appreciate something in comparatively quiet awe? Must we resort to praising it as the second coming of Christ? Can't we just chill the fuck out?

I'm fine with the current system of how meat gets processed. I'll admit that it still needs a lot of tweaking but it doesn't bother me to the point of becoming a self-righteous plank and denounce it as the epitome of evil. If there is ever a less cruel way of processing meat, we'll all be much happier. The same way that if there's ever a less cruel way of harvesting, picking, collecting, and distributing plants we'll all be much happier.

What? There's no cruelty when it comes to picking plants? Who the hell told you that? Who picks fruits and vegetables? People. Look up the conditions that they have to deal with and then tell me that system is free of cruelty. Go on.

Fuck. I've made myself really hungry for steak now.

Cy

Cynicism starts with cy! Cyanide also starts with cy! Coincidence? Probably. It's not like they can both kill a person. Well, actually they can metaphorically kill parts of a person in different ways. Cynicism will probably kill a person's self-esteem and ruin their day. Cyanide will kill you. Unless you're a Bond villain; in which case, it'll just cause your upper jaw to dissolve and disfigure your face because that's totally what hydrogen cyanide does, Mr. Silva.

I never really noticed how cynical people are because I don't spend my time thinking about them as much as I do thinking about myself or the things I need to get done. I know that I can be cynical sometimes but I tend to hide it very well by being very silly. So much that I can't remove that mask thus blurring the lines between who I am and who I want to be and who I thought I was pretending to be. When cynicism strikes, it stings like hell.

I know I'm supposed to ignore it and just move past it but it's infuriating to have someone piss all over your accomplishments and ideas with their brand of cynical self-centered idiocy. How can one begin to justify wrecking someone's accomplishments with their own petty bullshit? Is there a chemical in the water supply that causes lack of empathy in people? Does misery really love company?

A nerve-wracked beginning driver who essentially climbed a fucking mountain should be able to receive some sort of encouragement rather than get scorned, mocked, and have his confidence reduced to nothingness. As a result of this, he's gonna wanna drive the car off the road!

My advice, if I'm allowed to give any, is to ignore the cynicism and just move forward even if it's difficult because people suck and the poison seeps into your veins and travels to your brain, disdain disdain disdain.

Bureaucrazy

I have to admire people can keep their calm and composure under fire, day in and day out. One day of dealing with the joys of bureaucracy is enough to make a normal person lose my [sic] mind because things will get so mixed up. There are various sides to the same argument/idea/what have you. This is not a new phenomenon because after all, this is not a fixed, strictly binary universe- there are gray areas that cannot be ignored.

I also have to admire those who can put up with bureaucrats on a frequent basis. I'm convinced that bureaucracies are in place to grind down someone's patience in a grand scheme to enforce mind control and mass sheepery as a result of those who lose their patience and end up doing some really stupid shit because they're fucking tired of waiting and calling for almost 6 months for a fucking ID card.

You know, the usual.