ChocoVine and Life

ChocoVine, for those not in the know, is a wine that- as the name suggests, is made of chocolate. And wine.

The misshaped metaphor vaguely hinted at by the title of this post stems from the fact that spoiler alert when you drink ChocoVine, the first thing you taste is "the great taste of Dutch chocolate" which is sweet, generally. (Unless you like real- not that impostor, type dark chocolate; in which case, it'll be more bitter but still sweet.)

Traditionally speaking, when one is a child one is generally carefree if not happy. Candies, affection, attention, carefreeness. Unless you're little orphan Annie. In which case, you're out of luck. Until some rich guy bails you out... assuming you can melt his cold black heart first. In either case, childhood tends to be free of the disease of responsibility. When the world still seems fresh and as if nothing could go wrong and everything is possible. Wanna be a cop arresting the bad guys? You got it! Wanna be a doctor who takes care of sick people? Right on! It's sweet and endearing, like chocolate.

Then you taste "fine Cabernet wine". Wine (and alcohol) require(s) no further explanation. It fucks you up. Only adults drink it, or so it is believed- if one rules out underage shenanigans. Adults have to face the harder things in life. Gone are the dreams of being that cop who arrests the bad guys. As Mathis so perfectly sums it up in Quantum of Solace: "When one is young, it seems very easy to distinguish right and wrong. But as one gets older, it becomes much more difficult. The villains and the heroes get all mixed up." Bring on the questions of morality and responsibility as you not only wrestle with your dreams slipping away but the arrests one has to make, and the patients one has to see. To arrest someone who didn't commit a crime but simply fits a profile? To give medical attention to someone who is sick but has no money? It fucks you up, like alcohol.

The metaphor isn't that elusive. First you take something chocolaty and sweet, then it takes you by surprise as red wine makes its way past your uvula and into the deep dark chasm that is life.

It seems very simple but it's one thing to lay out a metaphor and another to understand it. I can only do the former at this point.

Jolly ol' Skip

Cavernous echoes inside
ringing
and blinding
and searing shut the outside world.

Beyond the confines of the mind exist only
that which I have not created
and that which they've defiled.

Thank you, doublethink
Thank you, grand hypnotist.

To imprison myself in my own mind
for the rest of the universe's life
would be destructive bliss
beyond what is called sublime.

To imprison others
in my mind is
cruelty galore.

Savagery
on a scale never seen before!

Not violence or death or something forlorn.
No sadness or misery
or pain or fear.

Just cruelty of a different breed.
It begs the question
"anything understand Does me?"
To imprison others in my mind is cruelty
and torture.
For that which they do not grasp
they will snarl at and attack.

Commencing the butchery of bliss before dawn.

The king dethroned.
The czar exiled.
The troubadour trapped in a jar.

To imprison, not welcome, others in my mind
is cruelty.
Akin to that of forcing the universe into a bottle.
And burying it 'neath the Earth for none to see.

Lock your doors
demand a password.
And you should be
skipping cruelty
to skip and to just be jolly.

Gobble gobble

Thanks.
My deepest and sincerest gratitude.
Diolch.
Peace be with you.
Merci.
Hope you find and embrace happiness and truth.
Grazie.
May everything turn out all right.
Arigato.
May the sun rise and light the way for you.
Danke
Lead you out of the cavernous night and into a clear blue sky.
Mahalo
Or to a clean blue sea.
Spasiba.
And endless echoes of serenity.
Gracias.
Be blessed with bliss.

Happy Thanksgiving to all y'all. Have a good one.

Happy Non-Denominational Winter Holidays (the Days that Lead)

So much tension and anxiety in the days that lead up to them.

For some people, these times (the "Holidays") are the most fulfilling, or among the most fulfilling in the year (sometimes for misguided reasons). People tend to feel a sense of purpose, among other things: peace, joy, happiness, business and busyness. That's fine. It's good to have something with which one can occupy their times as opposed to just sitting on their asses. Though it'd be a better use of time to do these "nice" things throughout the entire year rather than wait for this last month or so. Of course, these same kind of people tend to forget what these Holidays are supposed to be about. Namely, helping people out and being good to people. It can't just be about gifts. Regardless of what Holiday one observes, they all generally teach the same thing: be good to people. The actual origins have been buried in glitter and money but I like to think that we as humans can look past something shiny and pull up our sleeves and dig for that seemingly dormant meaning. I hope I'm not deluding myself into thinking something that isn't true. As it stands however, there seem to be misguided people doing seemingly nice things for unsuitable reasons.

And there are those for who these times are among the most painful of the year. Isolation, misery, abandonment, alienation, confusion, pessimism. That's a sad story right there, one to which I'm sympathetic and empathetic. As such, I believe it's pretty stupid to say it's bad to be sad considering one needs the opportunity to experience a wide range of emotions every now and then. As such, interfering with the process is bad. Because interrupting it, most often this comes from a third party who sticks their foot in their mouth- something with which I am familiar... literally (don't ask). You can't really blame foot-mouth for trying but you can't reward them for being unwilling to understand, or even try. As such, whenever one isn't celebrating a holiday, my first instinct isn't to push them to celebrate Christmas with me. Actually, I don't do anything to change their mind. If someone is sitting out a winter holiday, then that's fine. I don't see why anyone should be forced or influenced to partake in a bastardized version of a holiday now defunct. I say defunct because (for example) Christmas was never about gifts. It was (and should still be) about being a good person.

Others simply don't care either for either camp (those who are all about the gifts and grandiose façades of benevolence; and those who are about not bastardizing everything) and forge something different for themselves. Despite the fact that I'm a bit of a fan of Festivus and Decemberween, I'm probably part of this group of people who "reject" (for want of a better term) these holiday seasons. This doesn't make me an anti-_______, it just means I don't see the need to celebrate a bastardized and commercialized holiday. Sure, gifts are nice but I'd rather be treated with respect and such. And I don't reject it for the sake of being a rapscallion, I genuinely do it because it creates a fresh alternative to chipping away at my sanity.

There are aspects of the season that I enjoy. Namely, Elvis' "Blue Christmas" and Radiohead's cover of "Winter Wonderland". I'd personally like to see a Neil Young Christmas:
Claus the Killer
Christmas Man
Long May You Run, Rudolph
Cinnamon Elf
Dreidel by the River
Cowgirl in the Snow
Every Wise Man needs a Maid
Only Gifts Can Break your Wallet
Down by the Chimney
The Eggnog and the Damage Done
Like a Mistletoe
After the Gift Rush
Looking for a Latke
My My Hey Hey (Out of the Snow)
I Believe in You, Santa
Rudolph and Out
Though I'm not a big fan of radio stations playing endless streams of Christmas music. I say Christmas music because I haven't encountered stations that play songs about Channukah, los Tres Reyes Magos, winter solstice, etc. Something's fishy.

Aside from the miniscule musical aspect, I like the fact that holidays are supposed to be about being good to one another. I'd rather see everyone be good to each other the whole year but I suppose holidays are a start.

It seems they start extremely early. Early bird catches the worm? Or do you not want to get stuck buying stuff at the last minute? Prodding and poking towards gifts that'll be under-appreciated and unappreciated a week later?

I do wish "the season" would stop being so commercialized. I think that's the part that bugs me the most. I can understand that as humans we seek validation and appreciation through material goods but it'd be nice if the emphasis on gifts was downplayed. I'd rather see a human approach which, ironically, Festivus takes. Should we all celebrate Festivus? No. Celebrate what you feel like celebrating. Just be good.

I know I'll wing it, as usual. I'll also glare at decorations and people... in a futile effort to stem the tide of the ongoing bastardization of what should be about humans, not gifts. But as a poor college student who rambles, writes, and draws in a less than spectacular fashion... I can't webuild Wome in a day, Centuwion. I mean "rebuild Rome in a day, Centurion."

Not by myself anyway.

Have a good one.

8 Light-minutes

Eyes closed.
She greets me
with a warm and tender kiss.

Rousing me from my sleep
with her radiant presence.
Shaking off the dust
of drowsifying dreams.
Waking becomes more pleasant than it seems.

Her rays comfort
and restore me.
Build me up again.
Grant me life and
the right to say
"I'm not completely insane"

Reminding me of better days
splendor-filled tomorrows
peaceful yesterdays
biting into bright red tomatoes.

Warmed landscape
everything seems so great
fueled by a grandiose mystery.

We feed on beams
from miles e'er-distant
e'er-looming high 'bove us,
ne'er leaving
ne'er "Good-bye"ing.

Always there
ready to embrace the frost and cold away
melting the cold blankets and icy spires
ready to lend a hand.
Rebuilds,
restores,
revives,
inspires.

Living on and on and on.

Strange burning sun.

Time of the (Cold) Season

Hot enough for ya?
What the hell are you talking about? Winter is just around the corner. For goodness' sake, don't actually go looking for it; you'll just get lost. And people will stare at you funny. Trust me on this one, people have been staring at me funny since... well, always.

Anyway, winter'll be here very soon. At that point, one will notice an increase in frosty behavior on the weather's behalf. If they haven't already noticed a change in the weather, then I suppose I should congratulate them. It takes a special something to be completely oblivious to something so noticeable.

The weather changing isn't so bad, to be honest. It's a chance to wear thicker clothing that hasn't been used in quite some time. I'll be glad to "dust off" my other black coat. Wearing long sleeves is always fun, thought in my case it'll be fairly redundant as I wear long sleeves pretty often anyway. Of course, there'll be those who choose not to wear thicker clothing for reasons X, Y, etc. Again, I don't know how to respond to someone who wears booty shorts while the wind rips houses apart. The male part will of course grin, "Oh yeah" for a moment. Whereas the logical part will chuckle.

Of course, it doesn't really matter in California as it would in other parts of the country. It doesn't really matter because the weather in California is generally the same year round. Nice and sunny. For the most part, anyway. In some places. Maybe not all.

Still, there is a noticeable increase in frostiness just about everywhere... except for the southern hemisphere. This has struck me as cool (as my inner child would say), and intriguing as I would say. I think this is more to do with the novelty of such an experience. I think this would only apply if I'd go to Sydney during November and experience summer. Or kick it there during July and experience winter. I think the only reason I'd find that cool and intriguing would be for the culture shock value. Sorry, inner child. Regardless, I'd like to go someday. I do hope my reasons for visiting are for more than just the weather.

The weather here may not reach single digits but it'll most likely be enough to make me reach for my thicker coat and a cup of coffee in the morning. Even as Winter Jr loses steam and tries to compensate for its chilling inadequacies, in comparison to Winter.

And the erratic line has been drawn.

In a nutshell: cheers for colder weather.

Words to Live by

Breathe.
Seems the most obvious but you'd be amazed at how often this goes ignored. One can be so focused (or distracted), one forgets how to perform the most rudimentary tasks- breathing. This would probably explain why people tell pregnant women to breathe. I wonder if this only infuriates them.

Take a sweater.
"Or a coat.
Something to shield you
from the cold."
How metaphorical. How applicable to all sorts of things. Unfortunately, you'd probably be told this far-reaching advice for the most mundane things: keeping warm from a slight breeze. It would probably sound weird hearing something unintentionally metaphorical every morning, or every time one went out the door. Then again, "have a good one" and "be careful" are fairly metaphorical. Not enough to be vague and cosmically profound but they'll soon be there. Or maybe they're in their right place already. Not necessarily mundane but not reaching the ocean floor in terms of depth.

Look both ways before crossing.
Seems fairly straightforward. Can also be metaphorical- referring to decisions.

Hey, man, slow down. Slow down.
Radiohead songs are often full of wisdom. Music is full of wisdom. More often than not, it'll be hidden within catchy music and lyrics. So dig deep to be deep. If that makes any sense, I thank you for being able to walk the erratic line I draw.

Wisdom and words to live by are extremely common. They're not that hard to find.

For a while, I spoke to a homeless man on a frequent basis. I didn't care if people stopped to stare at a scrawny kid actually having a conversation with a homeless man. I haven't seen him in months but I haven't forgotten what he said. Everything he told me always sounded genuine and wise. Yet, these were the same things I've been told my entire life. What he told me can be summed up as: work hard and never give up. Objectively speaking, him saying these things didn't make them more poignant or profound than when my teachers said it. So, what makes such advice special? Not the source. what makes them special is that they've been so ingrained into our collective minds that they do ring loud and true when the clouds part. The advice that is so common comes off something else because we've heard it so often that it has taken on different meanings and always offers something new. Strange but true.

They've been repeated to the point that they shed their mundane shells and evolve into something greater.

Would this prove that something can come from nothing?

Would this support an ex nihilo universe?

Or is it all interpretation and perspective?

Are the words we live by simply dust in the wind?

Do we construct illusions so convincing that we place them on pedestals we'll never reach?

Have we forgotten what everything means?

Did we ever know?

Did we ever know what to do, what things meant, who we are?

Is anybody out there?

What can anybody do?

Ever onward.

To the Brim

Where've you been, winter?
Here or there?
Have you been hiding?
Slyly smirking and smiling?

Where've you been for so long?
Summer packed quite a powerful punch.
Summer's extended foray into your time
made us scared you were gone.

We're stuck with Winter-lite
for the next few weeks.
Not a great sight.
It's pretty weak.

There is a certain solace
in a sorry state.
Small but surely significant.

Tiny in scope
but nothing to scoff at.

A sight that repeats
but is always sincere.

Leaves
will leave
their trees.
Transforming,
leading new colors of old
to conquer where green took control.
The new ushering out the old.

Slowly
marching
into a white emptiness
filled to the brim
with dormant life
and misused death.
A chance for things to be ripe again.

Palpebra inferior

Constant convulsing
in a concentrated corner
continually concocts concern!
For health and sanity,
I beg of thee:
please stop being so twitchy.

Your incessant twitching,
at all hours of the day,
points to signs of gloom and dismay.
Internal decay?

On the brink of disaster?
I want to live longer,
not die faster!

I demand cessation
of this twitching sensation,
lest we wind up in a sorry situation:
the kind in which
our time on this earth
reaches expiration.

I seek to find an answer to my concerns.
And repair the apparent burnt bridges
betwixt my lid and I.

Less twitching, more blinking!
And if there's time:
ridiculous winking,
which is wickedly wacky
in its willfulness
and foolishness.

As opposed to involuntary twitching:
vile!
with its villainous
lack!
of volition!

How I long for an actual explanation.
Let's pray I'm okay
and don't fall prey
to some
cruel condition.

Aim

To write, and draw.
To entertain and evoke thought.
To amuse and inform.
To muse and ponder in an effort
to make you follow suit.


_{Though I don't always know what I'm talking about.}