Dies Cinerum

Today is Ash Wednesday. Yesterday was Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras en français. Today marks the start of Lent.

I'd participate in Lent but I'm not a Catholic, or a quitter. (I made this joke about 3 or 4 times today, and it stops now. Until next year)

All joking aside, I'll participate in Lent this year. I hope to have more success this time around. The last time I tried (in 2010, if I recall correctly), I failed on the first day. I sought to give up my anger even for about a month and a few weeks because I have a horrible temper. When I get angry, I get very angry. To this day, I am still very grateful that I haven't been exposed to gamma radiation. The story goes that I was crossing the street (while the little man on the light was still on display) and this dreadful motorist zooms right in front of me, almost hitting me! In a blinding fit of rage and (understandable) frustration, I shout a few obscenities at him as he drives off. He flips me off while driving away, presumably being smug and a jerk, and I yell another obscenity at him.

Then, it hit me like a sack of hammers weighing a ton: I lost my temper. I was immediately ashamed and struck by guilt. And it proceeded to haunt me for the rest of the day and week. I pretty much gave up because if something so minor could set me off, then what chance did I stand at suppressing my anger for 40 days?

Now, I set my sights on something I can control with more ease: a particular way of speaking. I don't have to swear but I choose to because I feel it adds color to the way I speak, and because I like being a bad boy. (Author's note: the preceding sentence was facetious in nature). And since I choose to swear, I can choose to not swear, as well. Let's see how this goes.

I'm also going through with this because a number of my friends are Catholic and they're giving up things they really enjoy like video games and sweets, and like I tacitly mentioned: I enjoy swearing. While they don't seem too beat up about it, the way they choose to go about Lent is by giving up something that they genuinely enjoy, as such, the decision must be difficult, and rather than flaunt my non-association with any particular religion, I choose solidarity so they don't feel distanced, and so I don't come off as a jerk when I eat 4 slices of cheesecake in their presence.

Respect. Solidarity. Not swearing.