Thin Gray Line

I'm at that age where I can still be considered very young but still "kind of old" while I process the fact that I have moved from one age bracket to another. And that ultimately means nothing.

However, it is still a strange time because I've been expected to let go of a lot of habits and tendencies and embrace a completely different set of behaviors and customs. The problem is I still don't feel sufficiently prepared to face the new horizon as I'm still stuck under the bright but ever dimming skies of whatever the hell it is I'm trying to hang on to.

I don't know what I'm doing nor do I know what I'm saying. Clarity eludes me.

Put it this way: I can't even jokingly quote Matthew McConaughey's character from Dazed and Confused without sounding like a total fucking creep. If I do quote Wooderson my age will totally fuck things up. It will muddle my intentions because I'm beyond the age where it's 60/40 funny/weird to 20/90 funny/weird which really just translates to: "That's not something you can say out loud anymore." Saying it now wouldn't elicit a chuckle but an uncomfortable stare. And definitely response that only makes things worse, despite having good intentions (read: just wanting to make someone laugh.) Even if they understood the reference, there would be a disapproving stare.

Vulture.

Gray hair.

They're probably unable to drink without The Man harassing them (but smokes and lottery tickets are fine for purchase.)

That being said, morality. As I get older I notice that the things I held so steadfast aren't things others hold in the same regard or even a similar regard.

That being said, I shouldn't take it so hard that I'm aging. It's as natural as breathing, unless you're Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid 4, in which case you're really getting screwed with the accelerated aging.

I have to accept, as do you, that aging is natural and inevitable. But that doesn't mean I have to yield to a mindset that demands me to be weak, frail, bitter, and joyless.