Sleep deprived

I haven't been able to sleep for about 2 weeks now. Yesterday, this came to a head. Rather than toss and turn for 3 hours like I do every night and finally sleep at 4am only wake up intermittently, exhausted, from 6am and onwards, I decided to just skip sleep altogether.

Up until a few hours ago, I'd been awake for over 24 hours. I want to say 36 hours but that feels inaccurate.

I've been deprived of sleep before but this time around I was really out of it. The last time I did this, things were beyond my control but I wasn't as manic as today. I was calmer and too damn exhausted to do anything. It was pretty cool, for the most part.

This time, my senses were heightened, I really noticed things in careful detail, and felt very alert albeit very jumpy. Then I became more deranged and scatterbrained which seemed to last longer than the first sentence. All in all, it was a fairly miserable experience but it was not without its highlights like appreciating the sun rising in the morning.

So scattered I can barely write.