Ye Olde

It has come to my attention that I am like one of those people who have some sort of fixation with the past, or times that precede my birth. This became pretty obvious when I saw that a good chunk of my music library is predates my birth. And when upon recommending movies to a friend, I saw that a good number of them were either from the Criterion Collection or older than my parents. Funny, in a way.

By fixated, I don't mean that I wish I was 17 years old again only in the 1960's because my favorite bands played at Woodstock! Peace and love, man! Groovy! Far out, man! Keep on truckin'! Hell no, we won't go!

No.

Well, some of my favorite bands did play at Woodstock but that's not the point here. What I'm trying to get at is that I fall into that category of people that for some bizarre reason (that they can never truly justify or even describe thoroughly) have a fondness for the past. I say my fondness falls within a healthy range whereas others really freak me the fuck out, though they are rare.

For a lot of people, this notion of longing for the past they never actually knew is romanticizing certain ideas and events while disregarding the entirety of whatever it is that happened in the past. The people who lived in those days don't actually want to relive them in any capacity other than their memories. Or so I've gathered based on conversations we've had. This most likely means that they accepted that things come and go, and the fondness attached to those memories only withers when you wish and pine for the past repeatedly. They are healthy individuals who are comfortable with themselves that they rarely feel the need to make the past sound more awesome than it is or was.

Of course, I get very annoyed when I'm told that it was possible to pay for full-time schooling and housing on a part time job. That'd be really awesome to experience. Which kind of proves my point about wanting to go a-la carte with the past, or days one never knew. You can't really do that; you have to take EVERYTHING.

For instance, a lot of minorities (myself included) who somehow pine for an era predating the 70's often forget to take into consideration that for most of American history, minorities have not actually had a say in how things work. I'd make a generalization that this was a global thing but I don't want to sound like more of an ass. Very scattered and sparse events began to change the tide but to willingly place yourself in an era during which you have very little room for upward movement, strikes me as odd and unwise. If I could tell myself that when I was younger, I think I would have grown up faster. Or gotten the ball rolling, at least. I don't exactly pin the blame on anyone but ourselves because the stories we heard from our elders were meant for entertainment and to provide insight and above all: wisdom. Appreciate what you have as fully as you can now, while you can. They don't tell us these stories to brag or make us want to travel to their eras. I rarely hear about the harsh times they faced, which is probably an indication that they don't want to relive those times even if the memories and stories they share are fucking awesome and make one feel warm and so forth.

As for my fixation of sorts. I guess it really boils down to stuff that can be achieved today but isn't for reasons unbeknownst to me. Stuff like: better manners, more personal accountability, a stronger sense of integrity, better quality music, better quality films, a stronger moral fiber, a greater emphasis on actually doing things, and a greater sense of optimism among everyone. I may be jaded (and to some extent: bitter) but that doesn't mean the plucky optimist will drown any time soon.

Maybe I say these things because I'm a maladjusted young man but you have to admit that it'd be fucking awesome to be able to afford a burger, milkshake, newspaper, a slice of pie, and ride the trolley all for a dime or however that repeated anecdote of the past goes.